


Love Is

by annieeeckls



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, M/M, TW: Blood, girls are dying, hinata loves too much, not gonna give much away, obssession, tw: murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieeeckls/pseuds/annieeeckls
Summary: Hinata hates all of them. If only Kageyama would choose him.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Love Is

**_Love is intoxicating, like a drug. It makes you lose your mind, delirious and high. Love is…it is something he has been craving like a starved man. And then he came._ **

\--

The chirping of the birds outside and the bright sun rays hitting Hinata made him smile. Another morning, another day of being with  _ him _ . The love of his life. The said man does not know though. It’s a secret between Hinata and his pillows. He smiled by himself, just imagining walking side by side with Kageyama makes him feel like butterflies roam freely in his stomach. 

If love is a drug, Hinata sure is addicted to it. 

Kageyama’s face, his rare smiles, his long fingers cascading down his hair… Ah, it was such a sight to behold. How can a man look so good like that? Hinata giggled as he brushed his teeth, dancing to an imaginary beat. 

Running out of the house and giving his mom a kiss goodbye, he sped down the mountains in excitement.

Last night, before he slept, he was talking to Kageyama. Something about what he said made Hinata think. A tiny spark of home that maybe his affection, no.. his love can be returned. 

“Hinata, do you like someone right now?”

“Ha? Oh.. uhmm… I guess yeah?”

A bit of silence answered him, the tangerine boy’s heart pounding so hard in nervousness. 

“Oh.. really? Who?” 

“Wh-why would I tell y-you?!” 

Another silence. 

“If you get a girlfriend I’ll be a bit sad.”

Hinata did not know whether to scream, laugh or cry.  _ ‘There would never be anyone else but you dummy.’  _

Now. Today. He decided to tell his feelings, lay down his heart open. “Kageyama be ready to fall in love with me!” Hinata giggled again as he pedaled towards school. 

\--

**_Love hurts, like a knife. It makes you cry, bleed and lose yourself. Love is…it is something he has been craving like a starved man. And then she came._ **

\--

Highschool they say is the time of romance heart breaks. Hinata found it to be true. His chest throbbed so hard it was painful. He thought for a second if he’ll die of a heart attack. Tears fell down his eyes, rolling down to his cheeks as he saw a girl, on her tippy toes kissing the man of his life. Kageyama held her closer. 

Hinata grew to hate her. 

She’s nice, cute too. Anyone would like Kageyama’s girlfriend. Clearly, the raven haired boy’s infatuated deeply. His eyes shine bright whenever she’s near and the sun that used to be Hinata faded into the background. 

“Ne, Kageyama. You said you’ll get sad when I get a girlfriend…”

“Yeah? I said that?”

“You totally did!”

Kageyama chuckled and ruffled Hinata’s hair. It was not what he used to do; rough and joking. It was soft… fond even. The orange haired boy’s heart needed to calm down.

“It’s ‘cause you should always be by my side.”

Was it wrong to paint his words with his fantasies? It was something he had wished to hear for so long but whenever he thinks of reality, it hurts more. 

Hinata grew to hate the girl but he hates himself more. 

\--

_ Screams echoed the alleyway.  _

_ “Please… please have mercy…” _

_ Eyes wide with hatred stared at the girl. His face, void of any emotion.  _

_ “What did I ever do to you? Please please spare me please…” _

_ Sobs turned into begging. She did not deserve this, she thought. She only loved. Not, it wasn’t even love. She’s sure she did not love Kageyama. It was merely a crush that turned into a relationship. She was even surprised he accepted her.  _

_ So why? Why did this happen to her? _

_ “You serve no purpose. You need to be gone.”  _

_ The night ended with the sound of the knife clanging on the ground. _

_ \-- _

Hinata found Kageyama crying in an empty classroom. It hurts to see him like that. Softly, as to not disturb the silence, he tapped the mourning boy’s shoulder. He turned to him, eyes red and puffy. His face wet with tears and agony. 

“Do you need a hug?”

If it’s wrong to say that he did not mind that she was gone and he’s happy Kageyama is with him, hugging tight as he pats his back, then Hinata will remain silent. 

\--

**_Love is torture. It takes your breath away and chokes you. Love is…it is something he has been wanting like a child in a candy store. And then they came._ **

_ \-- _

Hinata hates it. Despises it with his whole being. The black hole inside his heart grew larger and larger, and it won’t stop until Kageyama is his.

Every single time, all the touches that were not from him, he detests it. Why does it have to be those women? He’s here all this time but Kageyama can’t see. He told him he wants to stay by him forever that’s why he stayed. But at what cost? 

The price to pay was his heart shattering into pieces. 

Years have passed and they were no longer shrimpy highschool boys. College came, and flocks of girls came along it as well. 

Hinata spends his free time crying his aching chest out, wishing, imagining that someday it would be him in his beloved arms. It could not be impossible, he thinks. Kageyama had given hints, signals even. There could be something, an inkling of love for him. The orange boy would gladly receive it. 

So all the scraps of attention, affection, he joyously embraces all. It was as if he was in a desert and Kageyama was water in the drought. Tiny droplets would be enough. 

_ It would never be enough _ .

Long haired, short haired, bubbly or serious, Hinata thinks they are all abominations. 

\-- 

_ One by one they drop.  _

_ Each and every one of them. _

_ They all screamed in agony while a smile spread on his lips in wonder. Oh how he loves seeing them weep and beg. They bleed and they stare at nothingness after. _

_ It was bliss.  _

\--

And just like how they do, when Kageyama lost someone, Hinata was there to hug him tight. One time, the raven boy said his girlfriend left him to study somewhere else. The other he said she went overseas. Each time, the sunshine boy (who becomes lackluster more and more) would be there to comfort his best friend. Even if he knows they did not leave, they’re just gone. 

“Am I unlovable? Why do they always leave me?” 

“Sucks for them. It’s their loss!”

“You think so? Can you love me?”

Silence again. Can Hinata be brave enough to say it? His one chance to tell the truth. The feelings he has been trying to bury have always been close to exploding. 

“I’ve always loved you, you dummy.” 

Hinata then found out the exhilarating feeling of being held by the man he loves. 

\--

_ You shouldn’t have said it.  _

_ I was happy you were there by my side all along. But then you had to tell me.  _

_ You left me with no choice, my sun. _

_ “K-kageyama… wh…” _

_ Mouth gurgling with red, Hinata stared at the face of the man he loved with his whole being.  _

_ “Sshhh Hinata, I don’t want to do this believe me. But if you didn’t confess then maybe you will not be in that position you know?”  _

_ The raven haired boy chuckled lightly.  _

_ “Look at what happened to those women? Poor them…” _

_ “You… you did that to them…?” _

_ “I did. And do you know what I will do to you?” _

_ You’re the most special out of them my love, so I will give you the best one.  _

_ Hinata’s scream echoed but no one heard it.  _

\--

Kageyama cried as they all stood in front of his beloved’s urn. 

“Hinata was such a good boy with so much love in his heart…” His mother started. 

The raven haired boy nodded as he sniffed. 

_ “Hinata was the best I could ever have…” _

\--

**_Love can kill. It takes away all your senses, blinding you to the truth. Love is…it is something he had wanted but regretted having. And then he’s gone._ **

**_Fin._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> tadaa~ hope you guys enjoyed that. <3


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